The Unseen Power of Karmic Affinities

One day, when the Buddha entered a village with his assistant Ananda, he approached a poor woman to share his teachings with her. However, the woman disliked the Buddha so much, that despite his magnificent and pleasing appearance, she could not even stand the sight of him. Wherever the Buddha went, she would turn away. When he went to her right, she would look left. When he went to her left, she would look right… Even when the Buddha used his supernormal power to levitate above to catch her attention, she looked down and refused to look up. However, when she saw Ananda, her attitude became the reversed. She was naturally drawn to him, and happily listened to the Buddha's teachings related by him, which she found to be beneficial. This is very interesting as though Ananda almost resembled the Buddha in form, he was still not his equal, and especially not the same in compassion, wisdom and skilful means. How is this outcome possible then?

In a distant previous life, the woman once lost her child and was consumed by much grief. A spiritual practitioner passed by and enquired after her. After hearing about her misfortune, he replied somewhat 'indifferently', that there was no need to grieve as death is natural. As he seemed detached, his words felt cold and hurting, which gave rise to her aversion. When another practitioner came by and enquired similarly, he kindly offered his condolences, before sharing about the truth of death. The first practitioner was the Buddha-to-be and the latter Ananda-to-be. Due to these karmic affinities formed, the woman developed a 'natural' disdain for 'the Buddha' and a 'natural' attraction to 'Ananda'. As such,positive and negative karmic affinities can be carried not only from one moment to the next in this life, but also from one life to the next. This is a crucial reason why we ought to be mindful of the impact of our fewest words and slightest gestures, or even the lack of them, as they can affect present and future relationships for better or worse.

Although the Buddha, with his great wisdom, already knew the outcome of his approaches to the woman, what he demonstrated was the importance of doing our best in connecting to others, with as many skilful means as possible, before deciding the next skilful means is to step back, to let the 'next better player' try. The inexplicable 'first' impressions we have towards total or near strangers are often due to affinities formed in past lives. As these perceptions are not always rational, and often result from emotional bias, as in the case above, we should learn to manage all relationships anew, to form updated and thus truer perceptions of people as they are now. Feel-good vibes might not always turn out good, just like feel-bad vibes might turn out unjustified. Unless proven 'hopeless' for the time being, all deserve second chances – including ourselves. Remember, if you believe any affinity to be beyond hope, you are fatalistic with disbelief in the dynamic nature of karma, whose power you always hold!

- The Daily Enlightenment

The Key to Happiness

A Guru Rinpoche Day message by Phachok Rinpoche (5 Nov 2011):

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We all want to be happy. This is our fundamental aim in life, right? But often we find it difficult to achieve. When we don’t know how to deal with our own emotions and our mind then sometimes life can become very tiring and depressing. On top of that, most of us are so busy these days, which makes us even more stressed and uptight. So here I would like to share with you three simple ways that helps me deal with my emotions and thus gives me comfort.

1. Creating Space
These days we have so many things to think about: our health, our family, our work, and if you’re a dharma practitioner, then on top of all that you have meditation and dharma practice to worry about. When we don’t know how to deal with them, these worries can make our minds start to slowly shrink, becoming more and more narrow, and as a consequence more and more negative. Sometimes things start to overwhelm us and we feel trapped physically. Our chest feels tight and then we let out a big sigh in an attempt to relieve ourselves of these feelings. That happens sometimes. A small problem can come to seem so big that we can’t deal with it at all.

A really good way to deal with this is to create space mentally. It helps relieve the tension and uptightness in your mind and in your body as well. Creating space is a very simple method. It’s not a Buddhist teaching or anything like that. It’s simply a technique we can apply to give ourselves space and freedom and relief from all our worrisome thoughts.

How to create space? When you have a few minutes, look ahead of you and simply imagine that you’re surrounded by empty space in all directions. Sometimes it is useful to look at the empty sky. Just imagine space everywhere: no walls, no boundaries, no buildings, nothing. And don’t start thinking about work, family, things you need to do. Simply imagine that everything is just like the vast, open sky, like empty space, and let your mind blend into the space so that it becomes just as vast and open. You can close your eyes if that helps. Imagine this spaciousness for a short while. After a minute or two you’ll start to really feel spacious mentally. Your chest will open up and you’ll feel relieved of all those tensions and thoughts that were crowding in on you just a few minutes ago. Your mind opens up and then your way of thinking changes, just like that. It takes just five or ten minutes and is so easy—that is the magic of creating space. You don’t have to believe me. Try it for yourself and you’ll see.

2. Knowing your own faults and Reducing Judgment
We all want to be happy, right? Yes or no? But what is our mind occupied with most of the time? Negative emotions, negative judgments, and negative thoughts. Look at your own mind and see the pattern of emotions. How many of them are negative? Have you ever before given this a moment’s thought?

So what you need to do first is to recognize your thought-patterns, your negative emotions and the way they arise, the way different feelings arise. Recognize, notice, but Don’t Judge. There’s a big difference between noticing and judgment. Noticing is simply recognizing and becoming aware of something: “Oh, yes, I have a problem with jealousy.” But judgment goes one step further—a step too far—and starts criticizing: “Oh, yes, I have a problem with jealousy. Oh my God, I’m such a bad person. I can’t believe I made that mistake! Oh, I feel so awful. I can’t bear it!....” Do you see the difference? Judgment has these emotional ties whereas noticing does not. So try to simply notice your faults and not judge.

The problem nowadays is not that people are not doing dharma or other spiritual practice and trying to improve. The problem nowadays is that we don’t notice and accept our own faults; so then of course we don’t improve, no matter how we might try. It’s a bit like taking medicine for an illness when you don’t even know what illness you have. So please give this a moment’s thought. Look honestly at yourself and acknowledge your own faults and mistakes.

3. Compassion and Loving Kindness
The third key I’d like to mention here is having compassion and loving-kindness. Traditionally speaking, in the Buddha’s teaching, compassion is defined as the wish for beings to be free from suffering and the cause of suffering and loving kindness is the wish for beings to have happiness and the cause of happiness. Here though, I’d like to explain compassion as meaning a basic understanding or empathy for others and loving kindness as meaning a good, kind heart.

Understanding is so important. For example, in order for a family to be happy and harmonious the parents need to understand their children, be able to see things from their point of view, and the children also need to understand their parents. It’s the same in all situations, in the office, other relationships and so on. We need to share with each other, get to know each other well, and learn to look at things from others’ perspectives; we need to put ourselves in their shoes. If somebody is shouting at you, do you think he’s happy? Do you think he’s enjoying that? No, he’s upset, stressed, and angry, and later on he might well feel a lot of regret for what he’s doing right now. Yes, many people make mistakes, but do you think they do so intentionally? Do you think they do so because they’re happy? No. So try to understand that instead of just reacting with more anger and judgment from your side. If you can do that, you’ll feel compassion.

Another aspect of compassion is that if you come to understand your own problems and gain some freedom from them, naturally compassion towards others will arise. On the other hand, when you don’t clearly notice your own problems in the first place and know what suffering you have then how can you have compassion for others? How can you wish others to be free from that suffering, suffering that you don’t even recognize clearly yourself? So first you need to see your own problem. How? When you create space, the first key, and gain some freedom from your stress and the onslaught of thoughts, you see what you’re getting out from, you see the benefits of how you become happier. From just the first point, creating space, you think, “Oh, my boss, poor guy. If he knew this method he would be in a much better place than he is now. The poor guy.”

When you have this kind of compassion, your mind becomes more and more loose. When you focus more on others, indirectly you’re reducing your focus to your ego and as a result your mind then becomes more and more relaxed, more expansive and then more intelligent. You can share these three points with anyone. It’s going to benefit them, not harm them. So these are the three keys to be happy.

The Qualities of HH the 16th and 17th Karmapa

I was grateful to Ringu Rinpoche's straightforward and extremely moving account (for me) about the special qualities of HH 16th and 17th Karmapa.

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Ringu Tulku on Qualities of the 16th and 17th Karmapa (13/12/2011)

I was very much associated with the 16th Karmapa. I was recognised by Him, had received all my ordinations and teachings from Him, so I knew Him very well. His main and special quality was compassion. Anybody who went to see Him was extremely happy. He didn't have to give teachings or say anything. When people went to see Him, He just sat there, very relaxed. He laughed. He laughed a lot and everybody would be totally happy. He totally transformed everybody. This was His main kind of quality.

He had a special liking for the birds. Wherever He went, He wanted to buy birds. And He cared for the birds all the time. Everyday, He was busy with the birds. And when some of these birds died, they remained in samadhi. When they died, they sat (straight up) and didn't fall down for a long time, sometimes for few hours and sometimes whole day. So, He was probably teaching the birds. This was His strong speciality -- He didn't have to teach. There were lots of people in the West also. They said when they first saw 16th Karmapa, it was very strange -- He was wearing totally different clothes, the (sangha) people were making ceremonial music and the ceremonial hats and so on. Then, these people went in (and saw the Karmapa) and had this feeling that, "If I cannot trust this person, I cannot trust anybody." So, they took refuge, sometimes even monks and nuns' ordination vows (from the Karmapa), and later wondered "What is this all about?" Many people came into Buddhism like that, just seeing the Karmapa. They were so touched, so impressed and ended up taking everything (all the vows). So, this was His special quality -- like "liberation by seeing". He was not very learned. He never studied very much because He came from an aristocratic family. His father was a very powerful man -- He told the teachers of the Karmapa, "You should not give any trouble to my son. You should not beat Him, touch Him, do anything to Him or give Him any trouble. If He is Karmapa, He will know. If He is not Karmapa, He's my son." So, His teachers couldn't give Him many studies. The 16th Karmapa said, "I do not have much time to study. Hence, in my next life, I'll be a very good scholar."

Therefore, I think the special quality of the 17th Karmapa is He is a very good scholar. He was such a good scholar that I was totally bowed out. He asked me to come to India to translate the Kagyu Monlam prayer book into English. So, I and some Western people did the translation. I studied Tibetan all my life -- I did all sorts of degree, PHD so I am supposed to be good in Tibetan. When I was 17, there was a competition of Tibetan poetry writing. I participated and won the first prize, while my teacher won the second prize. The Sikkim government offered me a job, so I became a Tibetan expert in the Sikkim government when I was 17. Thus, I had a little bit you know, pride.

When we didn't understand some things very clearly or when some things are not so easy to understand (during the translation), I had to see and ask the 17th Karmapa. The Karmapa would say, "Oh, bring that so and so volume of Tengyur." There are 228 volumes of Tengyur. So, everybody went to search for that particular volume of Tengyur -- it was not easy to find it, nevertheless, it was found. And the Karmapa would open the Tengyur and said, "Here it is." We looked and exactly, all the things were explained there. I don't know if He read all these things before and remembered them, or is He doing it because of His supernatural power -- I don't know. But, there were many instances like that. He's so learned. I think this is His speciality -- He is very sharp and remembers so many things. I think He is the most learned lama in Karma Kagyu school now. He has many other qualities, but this seems to be His most special quality.

Most Fortunate Person

The most fortunate person in the world is not one who has wealth, which allows him/her to indulge in endless consumerism. Neither is he the one who is powerful, influential and well-respected by others. Nor is he someone constantly surrounded by lots of good friends and relatives.

The most fortunate person in the world has to be someone who has genuine and right faith, who knows, feels and realises in a deep/profound way that soon a day will come that he/she is going to die.

The last time I saw him was when I visited him at his house after he was diagnosed with Stage 4 (last stage) lymphoma some time last year. At that time, I was surprised and sorry to hear about his condition when he suddenly told me about it. Through the phone, I could hear a sense of fear and uncertainty. I was not sure what to do, so I just talked and encouraged him.

By the time I went to visit him, he had already undergone several rounds of chemotherapy. He looked weak, but still in a chatty mood. He said his cancer cells had spread to his other major organs and that he had written a will. As he gradually got over his initial shock of his diagnosis and proceeded with the treatment, he actually shared that this illness was a blessing in disguise. Because he was on long medical leave, he could now spend more time in Dharma practice.

A year later when we met, he was still fervent in Dharma activities, especially enthusiastic in attending phowa and similar "death-related" pujas, empowerments and the like. His cancer was currently in remission. It was a good news but both of us knew that remission doesn't mean cure. There is no complete cure for advanced stage maglignancy and the cancer might just return. When it happens, it may rage more furiously than before (of course, I didn't tell him that). He added that he would have an early retirement next year (at the age of mid 40s) and move to Malaysia, where he decides to spend the rest of his time with his foster mother and Dharma practice.

I thought he is really fortunate -- he has faith in Dharma and has the opportunity to apply them under the best circumstance, under this looming uncertainty of death. I still remembered -- when I suffered from dengue fever a few years back, it was a horrifying experience. I seriously thought I might not survive, because I had never fell so sick in my life before. It didn't help when the doctor prescribed no medicine, refused to admit me to a hospital, drew my blood everyday for platelet count monitoring and said somewhat apathetically that my body had to fight the virus itself. There was fear, frustration and uncertainty. But this energy somehow was never been transformed to even the tiniest sense of urgency and diligence to practise Dharma. In a way, it was unfortunate for me that I had not realised even a single bit about impermanence and how Dharma is the only thing that will help me at that crucial time. The fortunate thing was I'm still alive, thus able to see where my downfall is and try to work on it.

Now I finally understand why some masters spent their entire lives meditating on impermanence...

Don't Close the Book. Just Turn the Page

A wonderful advice by Zumang Gharwang Rinpoche. Just when we always envy how good and smooth life must be for a Rinpoche or tulku, think again. The way I see it, the genuine masters faced much greater hardship and responsibility than any of us, ordinary folks do. It doesn't help any better that we always load more and more of our personal problems onto their shoulders. I once asked my friend if he had a choice, would he still want to carry on with this title of a Rinpoche. He told me matter-of-factly that this question is irrelevant as he had no choice. For us, samsara is choiceless; for the master, because of their previous aspiration and us, they are choiceless too and will have to come back to experience what we experience to guide us.


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I have seen many colors of ups and down in my life. Sometimes I get what I want and occasionally which I never ask for. What really help me to move on with my day-to-day life is to accept, regardless of good or bad on positive notes. In addition, I must confess that nothing was really easy as I may like. Because sometimes I may wish for one thing and I may have to settle with something else.

Over the years, I realized that few factors in life can make all the differences. First, to be guided by compassionate teachers. Second, in order to avoid the same mistakes, always recall your past experiences. Third, make sure that do not let your assumption decide your path. Finally, one should build up a self confidence to carry on with your daily live without dictated by emotions, especially arrogance and pride.

Cherish the Opportunity

A Singaporean friend had been denied of her Indian visa again despite her drastic move of changing her passport. Her old passport just ain't getting her into India after repeated attempts, hence the change. She had hoped a brand new passport, with brand new passport no. and with fresh blank pages would solve the problem. But it just didn't work, leaving her increasingly frustrated and desperate to go India and see her teachers. In the most pessimistic scenario, she might never be able to step into India again...

I've always taken for granted that Singapore passport can bring me everywhere without much problem at customs and as long as I don't commit any crime, there should be no problem. But from her example, I see how wrong I am! Now I realise it's so difficult and precious just to be able to go India, step into Bodhgaya and see my teachers. So to all Dharma friends, please cherish whatever opportunities you have to go India (and other holy sites) and whatever opportunities you have to be with and be close to your teachers. This is because one day, who knows you may not have the opportunity again...

Attachment and True Love

Many times, we are confused between attachment love and true love. At some point, I experienced it for myself. Only then I realised how worlds apart the two really were and how attachment love was so destructive to our peace of mind. So you think it's true love? Think again (and check for the signs and symptoms)...

Attachment Love
1. Motivating factor: "me" and "my (perceived) happiness".
2. Nature: It binds us down, with extreme ups and downs in emotions.
3. After taste: There is pain in attachment love.
4. Expectation: We are expecting reciprocation of this "love" we give to the other person.
5. Fruition: Attachment love makes us mentally weak and insecure.

True/Unconditional Love
1. Motivating factor: "him/her" as who they are (not what we want them to be) and "his/her happiness".
2. Nature: It is liberating and frees us (emotionally).
3. After taste: There is no pain in true love.
4. Expectation: We love the other person without expecting he/she to reciprocate our love or change for us.
5. Fruition: True love makes us very strong and courageous.

It's All About Love and Generosity

When I was filled with worries for Mingyur Rinpoche, one of my friends lifted my (down) spirit by sharing with me her positive and touching outlook of Rinpoche's retreat. I have no doubt that what He did is for the greatest benefit for extensive number of beings. This retreat is not simply His wish to do Dharma practice alone. It might easily be His way of reaching out to the many rural folks, who might not be able to gain "access" to qualified teachers or are non-Buddhists (India is a Hindu country). This was her account:

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"India has alms tradition, not to worry. This is exactly what alms tradition is about -- to teach people about generosity. Many practitioners in India do that -- my elderly Thai teacher did that all by himself in India. He was given food and shelter. Any excess food he got, he shared with the poor. I still remember him speaking about it with crisp laughter and joy. Alms is not about being selfish or a "small vehicle (Theravada)" thing. It is about teaching the people generosity.

The more I reflected on this, the more I have heartfelt and unspeakable respect for Rinpoche. He "lowered" Himself to mingle among the poor -- and the poor are usually generous in sharing food. The act of giving creates tremendous merits for these givers. Rinpoche is very 伟大 (altruistic) by giving them the opportunity to practise generosity. He is a realised being, yet He appeared among the ordinary villagers not in the form of a great master, but as an ordinary poor monk asking for alms. For those who are kind-hearted to give (and this is unpretentious giving, not knowing that He is a great master), it is selfless sharing. Rinpoche is giving them the opportunity to practise and make merits. Isn't that wonderful ? Isn't He 伟大? Isn't He doing what the Buddha Himself did 2600 years ago? Rinpoche is a true Shakyamuni's monk.

He is doing what a true Bodhisattva is doing, by giving opportunity to rural India , while at the same time, He is showing by His example to the rest of us (urban people) what a true Follower of the Buddha should be doing -- by practising non-attachment (by leaving His family and possesions), reaching out to vast number of people (who support Him daily by giving him food, maybe shelter, medicines and other necessities too) by showing them loving-kindness and giving them the opportunity to practise love and generosity. Maybe He is also teaching them BuddhaDharma. The decision to reach out to the people in this way takes tremendous courage, wisdom and energy and only a true practitioner, like Rinpoche, has the merits to do so. He is showing the rest of the world it is possible to do so.

I am very sure, Nyolshul Khen Rinpoche (Mingyur Rinpoche's teacher who inspired Him to tread this path of a wandering yogi) had reached out to many, many people at the banks of River Ganges and in the "death houses" at Varanasi. He had also touched the lives of the poor and destitute, who were facing death with fear -- I am sure Nyolshul Khen Rinpoche gave them comfort and encouragement. He would have prayed with them, helped them cope with their fear and despair, and maybe shared with them their joy and laughter, food and medicines. This is a true Bodhisattva in practice.

Rejoice for Mingyur Rinpoche. Pray for him. Do not worry for him. Support him by sending Him our positive energy daily. He is a true Bodhisattva, who is reaching out to the people, who is leading by example to show us what it means by working for the benefit of all sentient beings.

Rinpoche may be suffering from physical discomfort. But His mind is strong and it will get stronger and stronger as each day goes by.

I now realise that Rinpoche's retreat is NOT ABOUT HIMSELF. It is about all sentient beings and he is doing it in the most practical manner (my eyes are tearing now, this is very great beyond words). I bow to Rinpoche with all my heart and my mind. May He be safe and may He faces no obstacle. Rejoice for Him! Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu!

Please Come Back To Us Soon

Ever since Mingyur Rinpoche left quietly from Bodhgaya to begin His 3-years retreat as a wandering yogi, nobody knew where He was.

While I was climbing up Taktsang (Tiger Nest monastery in Paro, Bhutan), I thought about Him. It was a very tough path to be a 'wandering monk' in India (ok, it's definitely much harder than ascending Taktasang, certain parts on all fours even) -- will He meet with dangers? When He is sick, will there be someone to take care of him? Will He have enough food to sustain His health? I was worried -- yet, I was really, very proud of Him. There may be many masters like Him, but I've no merit to meet any of them. He is the first and my most excellent role model of all.

Before, I had an intuition something happened when I dreamt of Him twice in 3 consecutive days, and ended up in tears when I awoke. Then, I heard of the news that He left. Nobody knew His whereabouts -- not even His close attendant, His elder brother Tsoknyi Rinpoche or His beloved mother. From a high Rinpoche well-supported by His students worldwide, He chose to take no money along with Him and disappeared. He only had His robes on. He didn't even take His passport, toothbrush and other necessities.

Then, a few months later in September, came the eathquake that rocked Sikkim, Nepal and Bhutan. I still had no idea where He was. I just hope He was fine, somewhere in the deep forests in India or among the remote snow mountains in the Himalayas in Nepal. There may be times when I am distracted and forget about Him, but I know He and His blessings will always stay with me no matter what. I just pray that may there be no obstacles to His life and health, that He is safe wherever He is, and may He overcome all adversities by the power of His pure intention.

Ultimately, I believe He doesn't want us to waste our energy and cause disturbance to our mind worrying for Him also, but instead use our energy and clear mind to practise. He wrote a letter before He left: "Practice is the most important. Among the practices, taming the mind and meditation is the most important. I want to do that and I want you to do that." So whatever happens, I will rejoice for Him because this is what He sincerely and single-mindedly wants to do. How many of us have the courage to pursue even our ordinary dreams? To think He actually have the tremendous guts to give up everything, from the relative comfort & safety of doing retreat in a retreat room, to even the money to sustain His living expenses, so as to pursue an austere spiritual path just for us beings and students. He is indeed extremely kind to us, kinder than the Buddhas and great masters!

Rinpoche, when the time comes that You've accomplished the Path, please come back to us again. And You must come back to us again. We will wait for you...