It's Better to Stay Faraway from Guru

Milarepa said, “My feeling of sadness from loneliness (because he was always alone in the cave) never goes away. But yet, I feel very contented by realising that my guru is never separated from my mind.” What a wonderful instruction! Although we are always with our guru physically, every day we said, “Good morning”, “Good afternoon” and “Good evening” to him. Then, we asked, “Can we go for coffee?”, “Can we go for dinner?” Later on, we treat him as a friend. Our guru becomes our friend. Later, he even becomes our assistant! This can happen. When we need help, when we have heavy stuff that we cannot carry, we said, “Hey, you carry this.” Sometimes, he/she is our guru, sometimes he/she becomes an assistant! This kind of mistake can happen. Therefore, too close to guru physically is also not so good because later we do not value him. This is because we can see him every day. This is not a good idea.

Occasionally, it is good to be far away from your guru for a few years, or maybe a few months. Let’s say after six or seven months later, you miss him desperately. You really long for his teaching and instructions and really want to get close to him. It is only then you will value him. This is why a long time back, great masters such as His Holiness the 14th Karmapa Thekchok Dorje, mentioned, “Those who simply saw me and walked away is liberated. And those who were always with me are difficult to be liberated.” In Tibetan, the word used is a frightening word.

In short, this means once you are close to our guru and always stay by his side, then you will always search for his fault rather than see his qualities. “Oh, he did this”, ”Oh, he did that”. Subsequently, negative thoughts arise, which will decrease your faith and devotion towards him. This is not good. Sometimes, it is good to keep away from your guru for a few months. Never even call or email him. Keep a distance from him. In the meantime, you reflect his teachings and instructions. Then, when you desperately miss him, you just go! No telephone, no sms. You just go! This is the value. You purposely go to find him. You do not wait for him to come to Singapore. This is because of the importance and value of the teaching. You have to go. Then, you get the precious instruction from him. This is the genuine and proper way of seeking the Dharma teaching. I think Gampopa meant it in this way.

- Sangye Nyenpa Rinpoche in his teachings on 'Precious Garland of Supreme Path' by Gampopa (17 Jul 2010)