Most Fortunate Person

The most fortunate person in the world is not one who has wealth, which allows him/her to indulge in endless consumerism. Neither is he the one who is powerful, influential and well-respected by others. Nor is he someone constantly surrounded by lots of good friends and relatives.

The most fortunate person in the world has to be someone who has genuine and right faith, who knows, feels and realises in a deep/profound way that soon a day will come that he/she is going to die.

The last time I saw him was when I visited him at his house after he was diagnosed with Stage 4 (last stage) lymphoma some time last year. At that time, I was surprised and sorry to hear about his condition when he suddenly told me about it. Through the phone, I could hear a sense of fear and uncertainty. I was not sure what to do, so I just talked and encouraged him.

By the time I went to visit him, he had already undergone several rounds of chemotherapy. He looked weak, but still in a chatty mood. He said his cancer cells had spread to his other major organs and that he had written a will. As he gradually got over his initial shock of his diagnosis and proceeded with the treatment, he actually shared that this illness was a blessing in disguise. Because he was on long medical leave, he could now spend more time in Dharma practice.

A year later when we met, he was still fervent in Dharma activities, especially enthusiastic in attending phowa and similar "death-related" pujas, empowerments and the like. His cancer was currently in remission. It was a good news but both of us knew that remission doesn't mean cure. There is no complete cure for advanced stage maglignancy and the cancer might just return. When it happens, it may rage more furiously than before (of course, I didn't tell him that). He added that he would have an early retirement next year (at the age of mid 40s) and move to Malaysia, where he decides to spend the rest of his time with his foster mother and Dharma practice.

I thought he is really fortunate -- he has faith in Dharma and has the opportunity to apply them under the best circumstance, under this looming uncertainty of death. I still remembered -- when I suffered from dengue fever a few years back, it was a horrifying experience. I seriously thought I might not survive, because I had never fell so sick in my life before. It didn't help when the doctor prescribed no medicine, refused to admit me to a hospital, drew my blood everyday for platelet count monitoring and said somewhat apathetically that my body had to fight the virus itself. There was fear, frustration and uncertainty. But this energy somehow was never been transformed to even the tiniest sense of urgency and diligence to practise Dharma. In a way, it was unfortunate for me that I had not realised even a single bit about impermanence and how Dharma is the only thing that will help me at that crucial time. The fortunate thing was I'm still alive, thus able to see where my downfall is and try to work on it.

Now I finally understand why some masters spent their entire lives meditating on impermanence...